gay kid: hey i like your shoes
straight boy: haha thanks but im straight

tsunamiwavesurfing:

i seen someone on here say “daddy spank me like an almost empty ketchup bottle” and since then i just been usin a knife to get the sauce out the bottle

painfullysane:

do your eyes ever randomly go out of focus and then you are too lazy to focus them back in and just stare at nothing for a while

recoffthevine:

I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WAS EXPECTING BUT IT WASN’T THAT

cyberlocc:

but do aliens believe in me….

monochromatose:

babyminaj:

too good

nO BUT WHAT IF YOU HAD A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE AND YOU MAILED THEM THIS CARD AND PUT A PLANE TICKET INSIDE HOW FUCKING CUTE WOULD THAT BE

monochromatose:

babyminaj:

too good

nO BUT WHAT IF YOU HAD A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE AND YOU MAILED THEM THIS CARD AND PUT A PLANE TICKET INSIDE HOW FUCKING CUTE WOULD THAT BE

gumiappendsweet:

arpeggiosmelody:

candlelion:

you can tack on “and dragons” after any title and it’ll be 900% better

Dungeons & Dragons and Dragons

that’s TWICE the dragons, you literally cannot go wrong with this

australiansanta:

why did someone choose to spell tongue like tongue like was that necessary a simple tung would do

metrobussy:

when u boutta prove a bitch how wrong they are

image

if you think i’m ugly now you should have seen me in 2009

danieljlayton:

LOOK AT HIS LITTLE FACE. HE FALLS OVER AND YET HE’S STILL SO HAPPY ABOUT LIFE. I WANT AN ELEPHANT SO MUCH.

danieljlayton:

LOOK AT HIS LITTLE FACE. HE FALLS OVER AND YET HE’S STILL SO HAPPY ABOUT LIFE. I WANT AN ELEPHANT SO MUCH.

kittenpatches:

If I ever get pregnant I think this is how I will break the news